“Sooner or later, there comes a moment in all relationships when you lie in bed, roll over, look at the person next to you and think it’s all a mistake. That is the first day your real marriage.” So says Boston family therapist Terrence Real. It can happen a few months to a few years into the marriage.
So what now? How do you make this best and worst relationship of your life work? It never hurts have some solid advice and knowledge tucked away. Or maybe, just a book that sees marriage as it really is, hard, hard, hard and wonderful and very funny. Check out these books from the library.
If It Was Easy, They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living with and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married by Jenna McCarthy
Jenna collected the responses she received on her blog to the question: “What does your husband-whom you still love- do that drives your nuts?” to make this funny book. She adds her own personal confessions about her less than perfect, but good enough, marriage. This is a marriage advice book that tells it like it is. So, if you are happily married and the thought ever crossed your mind, “Oh my god, I hate him,” try this book. Chock full of comments from women about the disgusting, infuriating, asinine behavior of their husbands. You can have a laugh and then gaze lovingly at your husband say, at least I am not married to that guy.
Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship & Life Together by Mark and Grace Driscoll
Pastor Mark Driscoll, named one of the 25 Most Influential Pastors of the Past 25 Years, and his wife, Grace, have a marriage advice book that focuses on the sexual relationship within a marriage. Most of the information about sex inside the church is inadequate, they write, and most the information about it outside the church is perverted. Realistic and sympathetic, honest and direct, the Driscolls describe God’s plan for marriage, all within a gospel perspective. You’ll find the answers to some of the sex-related questions that you just can’t ask your own pastor.
No Cheating, No Dying. I Had a Good Marriage. Then I Tried to Make it Better by Elizabeth Weil
“I had a good marriage before I spent a year improving it, and I have a good marriage now. In fact, my marriage is better, truly better.” Elizabeth takes an honest look at marriage and the issues of real life that we all deal with: sex, money, religion, in-laws, children, disastrous dinners and the ever so delightful pre-colonoscopy enema. She seeks advice from financial planners, sex therapists, psychoanalysts, marriage coaches and rabbis. The result is this little book that ends with the chapter, “How Good is Good Enough?” An engaging, illuminating read, a profound meditation on love.